


could cry just thinkin' about you

by artificialmac



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Based On a Troye Sivan Song, Drabble, F/F, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:21:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26384803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: Crystal and Nicky broke up a while ago, but Nicky can't seem to stay away.
Relationships: Nicky Doll/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	could cry just thinkin' about you

**Author's Note:**

> Based off 'could cry just thinkin' about you' - Troye Sivan
> 
> Give it a listen.

_Now I'm knee-deep in this mess_

In the quiet moments before the sun rose, Crystal liked to comb her fingers through Nicky’s hair.

The older woman had noticed it the third time she slept over, the first two instances being written off as one time events. But the third time, Nicky couldn’t write it off as anything other than tender. Her ex-girlfriend’s short nails brushing passively against the roots of her hair, scalp singing under the attention.

_I could cry just thinkin' about you_

It probably spoke more to Nicky’s inability to get decent sleep nowadays.

Unfortunately for the pain in Nicky’s chest, and the growing need to run, run, and never look back, she got better sleep with Crystal’s warm body pressed to her side than she ever did in her 500 thread count sheets.

_Every line I write is somethin' about you_

There was an inherent sadness to waking up in Crystal’s bed. 

Even when they had been dating, Nicky found herself antsy against the comfort of their tangled limbs. But now. There was a new weight that settled onto her chest when her eyes blinked open. One that threatened to pull her further into the hole she had dug for them both.

She shouldn’t have answered the phone.

She should have rolled over and clenched her eyes shut and pretended that everything inside her wasn’t clawing its way through her chest at the familiar ringtone.

She should have changed Crystal’s ringtone. Should have changed it two months, a week, and five days ago when they broke up over text. 

But she didn’t do any of that.

She wasn’t strong enough.

_Every guy I want looks somethin' just like you_

In truth, Nicky never felt strong when she was around Crystal. Weakness had been her default for so long. 

Crystal had made her that way. 

Weak and emotional and far too raw.

So that it hurt with every exhale.

_Every book I read I only read for you_

Nicky had gone through girls like… well like someone who’s heart was broken.

And none of them made a hell of a difference because she always found herself back here. Sandwiched in between Crystal’s ridiculously large decorative pillows and the woman herself.

The familiar scent of pine needles and overbearing citrus emanating from the Febreze plug-in made Nicky’s head spin.

She shifted against the sheets in an effort to feel real again, the sound making Crystal’s hand freeze in place.

_Every art piece is just to remind you_

For a long moment, the younger girl held her breath.

Seconds ticked as they tend to do. Nicky exhaled, felt the pain in her chest spread out to her limbs like a cancer. She winced at her own simile and racked her brain for a less morose one.

It didn’t come.

_I don't know who I am with or without you_

There was probably something symbolic in that fact but Nicky was too tired to piece it together.

Crystal’s hand returned to its previous ministrations, only this time it was a bit more subdued. 

It didn’t feel as much like a slap.

_But I guess I'm 'bout to find out_


End file.
